About
Cory Stevens, RCC
Areas of Focus
I celebrate diversity and welcome clients from all sorts of different backgrounds and identities while also having certain groups that I have a greater degree of knowledge and skill in working with. These groups include:
- individuals within the 2SLGBTQIA+ community;
- polyamorous people and those who are practicing or curious about exploring ethical non-monogamy; and
- individuals who have been victims of crime. I am registered with the provincial Crime Victim Assistance Program (see CVAP page for more details).
Counselling Approach
In terms of theory, my practice is influenced by Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Rogerian person-centered therapy, polyvagal theory, and feminist/anti-oppressive therapies.
The way I work with relationships is influenced by both Sue Johnson’s Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and Jessica Fern’s adaptation of attachment theory for use with consensually non-monogamous relationships.
For people who might be less familiar with all these terms, I’ve summarized the points that really resonate with me below.
Theoretical Influences
Mindfulness
A powerful tool that may not be right for everyone
Let’s face it: mindfulness is so trendy these days. It has been commercialized, packaged up, and sold so that businesses can reel in those sweet subscription fees. It’s even gotten to the point where just using the M-word around certain individuals can trigger a stress response because of how forcefully the practice has been imposed on them in the past.
I think this is really a shame because of how powerful mindfulness practice can be as a tool. In my counselling practice, I primarily use mindfulness techniques to support myself as a counsellor and a person, to help me stay present and adaptable in client sessions, and to help me be more kind, compassionate, and accepting towards myself. That being said, what works for one person won’t necessarily work for another. I will never try to force mindfulness practice on anyone, but if you do have curiosity about it or would like to incorporate it into the work we do together, please feel free to ask me about it.
Values
The map that guides us towards meaning in life
Everyone gets to choose what matters to them in life, and there are no right or wrong answers. We all have values, but we aren’t often prompted to think about them and how they show up in our everyday lives. If we go for long periods of time without connecting with our values, we can start to feel lost or aimless in life. Perhaps we’re overworking ourselves and sacrificing quality time with friends and family. Maybe we’re investing into relationships where the respect, kindness, and care that we’re showing others isn’t being reciprocated. We might just realize that we haven’t made time to be creative, connect with our sense of humor, or follow our passions lately.
When I listen to clients describe the kinds of challenges that they’re navigating in their lives, I often think about how surface-level events connect to much deeper levels of meaning, which is where our values tend to live. Often, the final straw isn’t about the straw at all – it’s about what the straw represents.
Person-centered
You are the expert on your own experience
When a counsellor and client meet, the counsellor brings with them training and experience in providing mental health support and facilitating positive change. The client brings with them their identities, history, and knowledge of themselves and the problems that they’re currently struggling with. I believe that people are fundamentally resilient and growth-oriented, but our modern society tends to teach us that we’re not good enough and that we have to constantly fight to prove our worth as humans through working hard, being attractive, and attaining money and success.
I think that slowing down and creating a space of validation and warmth where people can just be their authentic selves for a while can be very powerful. Regardless of what we talk about in session, I intend to treat you as a complete human being who is full of natural strengths and deserves respect and care.
Neurobiology
Our nervous system's functioning colours every moment of our lives
Our nervous system typically operates below our level of conscious awareness. Polyvagal theory draws our attention to the functioning of our autonomic nervous system (the part outside of our conscious control) and helps us understand how and why we move through patterns of safety, threat-response, and shut-down in response to everyday events.
Starting to understand how and why our nervous system’s functioning causes us to “act out” in predictable ways to perceived threats can be liberating, de-pathologizing, and help us shed the guilt and shame we often carry for having “bad” emotions. Your nervous system is trying to protect you, and when protective functions are activated repeatedly over time, we can start to find it difficult to relax, let our guard down, and connect with safety, joy, or playfulness.
I use polyvagal theory to help me create a context of safety for counselling to happen in, and I’m always enthusiastic to share it with clients as an alternative perspective from which to understand themselves and their emotions.
Systems
The systems we inhabit and identities we hold are major determinants of wellness
I am a bisexual, neurotypical, cisgender man in my thirties, practicing consensual non-monogamy with two wonderful long-term partners. I am an able-bodied, White child of European immigrants, living and working in Vancouver, BC, on the ancestral lands of the xʷməθkwəy̓əm (Musqueam), Skwxwú7mesh (Squamish), and səlil̓ilw̓ətaʔɬ (Tsleil-Waututh) Nations. As an uninvited inhabitant of Turtle Island, I affirm that this space is and always will be Indigenous land.
Through these identities, I hold privilege and experience marginalization. If you’re reading this, you also were born into a particular sociocultural context and are a complex product of many identities that you hold. The world and systems that we operate in do not treat all identities equally. As a White man, I have never had to wonder if not getting called back after an interview was due to my name or the color of my skin. But as a queer person, I have been verbally attacked in public just for being my fabulous self. Identities matter, and they impact our mental and physical health
EFT & Attachment
We are relational beings, but those relationships can be such hard work
From birth, we have an innate need for connection — to feel seen, safe, and supported in our relationships. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) offers a map for understanding the patterns we get stuck in when those connections feel threatened or out of reach. Rooted in attachment theory, EFT helps us notice how relationship distress often stems from how we protect ourselves and reach for others, even when it doesn’t come out quite the way we intend.
In our work together, I’ll help you slow down and tune in — not just to the content of what’s happening, but to the emotions and desires underneath. Whether you’re coming as an individual or in a relationship, we can explore how past wounds, current fears, and unmet needs may be shaping your experiences.
I also draw from the work of Jessica Fern to support clients in non-monogamous relationships. Her lens on attachment offers language and insight for the many forms love and connection can take — without pathologizing. Together, we’ll make space to hold complexity with care, understand your patterns, and move toward more secure ways of relating.
Fit
For me, it is very important that you think I am a good fit. I offer free, no-pressure consultations to answer any and all questions you may have.